5 Inconvinient Truths No One Tells You About Being a Mom

Sometimes I look at the happy pictures of me with my son and can't even really believe it is me. That it is us. Somewhere along the line, the industrial-parent complex forgot to tell me the truth about being a mom. So that you won't have to endure the same rediculosity* in silence, here is my top 5 list that doesn't get talked about:

1) Being a mom is hard work. It doesn't matter how great your partner is, there are certain things only the female can do. So unless you are in a lesbian couple and your partner is having induced lactation, only the person who gives birth can breastfeed. Some times the screams of "mom, mom, mom" will only quiet to the mom. Being a mom is a 24 hour a day, 7 days a week activity. Even when you are not with your child you may feel anxious about that. So there is no winning. You will do lots of laundry, sacrifice your schedule and your body, even vacations are work.

2) Forget sleeping. Maybe you've tried crying it out and that worked for you. Maybe your child is an angel that peacefully slumbers 14 hours a day. Good for you. No one warns you that you could possibly go more than 18 months without a good night's sleep.

3) Priorities will change. You can't really understand this until you are a mom. But priorities will change. Trust me.

4) You may feel lonely and angry. Even if you go to parent groups and play dates, becoming a family is unique to each of the members in the family. You might be in a same-sex relationship or a single mom or your spouse might work a lot. Delivering childcare can be lonely by yourself. If you are an introvert, attending play dates might be exhausting. Pretty much either way it is not fun. Your play date mates might experience family in a different way that makes the feel more connected and happy than you; that might make you feel jealous! Just remember, you are NOT bad for feeling sad or  lonely or angry. What matters is how you deal with those feelings. There is no easy answer to your dark feelings. You must live with them everyday and try to work through them.

5) There is no undo. While technically you can drop them off at a local hospital if it is just too much, there is no magic button you can push to make your life go back to pre-parenthood. Once you hold them in your arms, you will be changed forever.

*Bush-ism, a word invented by George W. Bush

Christmas, 2014